Less Cynicism, More Love

In my younger days, I always considered myself to be the pessimist, the realist, the anti-hero, the "we-would-eventually-die" type of guy. Perhaps all of these attributes were rooted in my personal belief that in order for people to get the best out of themselves, they must always expect the worst. However, as I grew older, I realized that all of these negative assumptions are more of a hindrance rather than an encouragement.

Case in point, I had a tendency to view people in a darker light before. When I saw individuals, I didn't just look at them; I scrutinized their every movement. I felt like people always have skeletons in their closets. For instance, when I was in high school, I was often disturbed by school personnel (ehem, nuns, ehem) who were all that. Those who lived saint-like lives and advocated for a world of peace and plenty. Before, just looking at them made me sick. I thought that these phony penguins were hiding something beneath their habits. They were very much like Transformers-they were more than meets the eye...but not in a good way.

"Shut your face klutz."

Okay, enough of the presupposition of people. Since I'm in the course of talking about moral values and stuff, my outlook in life, especially before college, revolved around the reality that shit happens. On the plus side, this perspective made me accept things as they were. No whining, no useless complaining, no juvenile claims. I could say that I was more mature than my actual age. (In terms of thinking of course. I still enjoyed video games, pro-wrestling, toys, etc.) However, this pragmatic point of view led me to believe that being truly happy is impossible.

When the whole global situation is experiencing a great amount of political turmoil, economic instability, and is dominated by despotic lobbyists, it's quite easy to think against positive ideals. Here in the Philippines, the political story has always been part of the same plot. The rich and powerful guys claim to champion the masses out of poverty. Yet, all this sloganizing has led to nowhere. I was merely a pawn of this powerful machine. And thinking negatively seemed to be the only option.

The champion of massive bullshit.

I hated abstract ideas. Love, compassion, care for others, unity, peace, harmony, camaraderie, cooperation. All of these, to me, were just tools used in propaganda to garner the support of the people. I thought that these words were only meant to make an essay look elegant, or to make your teacher appreciate all the gibberish garbage you have to say. To me, things like these did not exist. The fact that they are not quantifiable and far beyond human understanding, I knew that appreciating moral humane values was falling into the depths of meaninglessness.

I was wrong.

All the while I have failed to look at what has been in front of me: my family, my friends, my girlfriend, the people I meet, the strangers I see, humans! If the simplest truth is that we're alive, then the natural thing to do is love and appreciate! (Sorry for being too preachy.) I now see that being a realist does not necessarily mean having to surrender these humane ideals. Living a life that is worthwhile necessitates that one must be able to acknowledge its existence. Quite simply, how can one understand something he/she neglects? The truth is, nobody knows what we're really doing here living on Earth. But one thing's for sure, we're alive.

Yes you are, Emo girl.

Love therefore, is a beautiful reality. A reality that we must all achieve. Our purpose as human beings is not merely to survive and engage in struggles of power, but to rise above these inequalities and to continue to live. This may sound cheesy, but that's what pessimmism does to a person. When a human being can no longer grasp the beauty of transcendental things, he/she ceases his/her sanity. Following this scheme of things, if love is reality, and insanity is expanding this reality, does it mean that engaging in love is crazy? I say no. In fact, love accedes reason; it just does not mind.

When we make sacrifices, for example. We limit or fully abolish the things that mean a lot to us because of love. Let's say sacrificing your food because you see someone very hungry, even if you're famished as well. This instance clearly depicts where reason and love wrestle with each other. Your hunger seems to be less important when someone appears to be hungrier. This fascinating act of sharing and sacrificing, as ways of articulating love, is the reality that we, as humans, must appreciate and look forward to.

Stop. Look. Listen. Love.

Being pessimistic is like sitting on a rocking chair. There is movement, but it's not getting anywhere. To love means to move. To act upon something because of love entails the reality of living, and not merely surviving. So long as we look forward to something positive and become less skeptical, things would be a lot better. These three things may very well be the most saccharine tips I have ever heard, but amazingly, they work: live, laugh, love.

Moving People

Today in Psychology class, we studied about the Neo-Freudians, who were basically psychologists who based their studies on Sigmund Freud's basic theories while deviating at other points. One of these psychoanalysts is Karen Horney, who offers a feminist criticism of the Freudian concept of "penis envy." But aside from this, she also mentions about how children carry with them a basic anxiety that is created when they face a complex world of adults. To cope with this anxiety, Horney (pronounced as "horn-eye" for those of you dirty-minded people)presents (1) moving towards people or socializing, (2) moving away from people or isolation, and (3) moving against people or competition.

(Sorry for the lengthy introduction, just kept on typing.)

Anyway, what I propose is something different. A kind of movement that would acknowledge the inner greatness embedded in each human being. I'm not saying that I'm an expert in psychoanalysis or I could justifiably and concisely critique Horney (again, "horn-eye"). I just want to include a more philosophical perspective to the preceding psychologist. To me, attaining self-actualization and minimizing anxiety not only requires moving along with, away from, or against people, but also involves moving people.

But what exactly do I mean by this? The simple truth about people is that they could not exist without other people. They may choose to live in solitude or become antisocial, but the fact of the matter is, everything they would do involves, either directly or indirectly, the entity of another. No man can sufficiently sustain his emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual, intellectual, biological, and other necessities by himself. As the old adage goes, "No man is an island."

Not even you Noland. Sorry bud.

With this as the foundation of my argument, I think that people have the ability to go beyond merely socializing with people, fighting with them, or worse, not wanting them. The fact that we are humans entails an obligation to care for one another. Noticeably, Horney's anxiety coping mechanisms connote some sort of selfish desire. The fact that the three proposed actions are employed by humans for their own well-being clearly shows how self-interested they are. Moving people, on the other hand, presents what I'd like to call "selfish altruism," where inspiring others motivates oneself to continue doing what he or she has been doing all the while. If moving towards is being sociable, moving away is being alone, and moving against is competing with others, then moving people is inspiring and motivating others for the sake of one's personal fulfillment. In essence, the pursuit of happiness is determined by the pursuit of people.

But this is not a novel idea. Since the time of the ancient Greeks, philosophers like Aristotle have already managed to examine the purpose and the ultimate goal of man which is happiness. In the Ethics, Aristotle mentions the importance of virtue in human life and how it serves as the best way to successfully achieve true happiness. Moreover, he views true friendship as not merely a relationship of pleasure or utility, but as a mirror of oneself's goodness. Hence, what you see in others is what you see in yourself. The reciprocity in this virtuous and good friendship shows a unity among men (and women, I'm not sexist) which uses a "pay it forward" type of scheme where one good deed exponentially spreads throughout humanity.

I can't help but agree with Aristotle, or with any other person who believes in this simple idea. What bothers me though, is the inability of man in this time and age to contemplate and to concretely apply good deeds. Perhaps this is a result of modern technology and its consequent effects to the dehumanization process. Today's modern life has become more complicated than ever. Well if that's the case, then I guess it's time to move.

Even Luda agrees with me...in a different context of course.