The Lazy Truth

Let's just say I used to have a reputation in high school as a guy who has relatively good grades while still maintaining a "fun" reputation (at least in my opinion), depending on so-called 'stock knowledge' during exams. I don't intend to brag in any way about how my 'intellectual superiority' (which is of course really just average) got me past high school (surprisingly with flying colors! Sorry for using too many parentheses by the way). In fact, I'm writing this piece at an unearthly hour as a form of a regret-generating self-criticism concerning my lack of initiative and motivation to pursue knowledge. In other words, what I thought as intellectual dialogues confined within the academic walls are now occurring to me as essential to human life, if not as life itself.

But before delving into that whole philosophical disappointment of mine, I first want to expound on the history of my lack of concern, resonated by my ignorance and inadequacy. As a fat kid, I enjoyed TV more than books. It was always a delight for me to have the convenience of flipping through channels with a magical remote control, watching all my favorite shows like Power Rangers, Dragon Ball Z, or Ghost Fighter, than reading a book while sipping some tea. Back then, being a couch potato was like being the king of the world, at least in my case. Consequently, I went through puberty, like most human beings. And like most human beings, I'd assume you already know about how raging hormones bring about a sexual monopoly where the focus of living shifts to anything that has to do with sexuality. Thus, considering that this period of my life was solely dedicated to sexual adjustments, I failed to focus on more important things. Then, wanting to shed some pounds, I got into sports, particularly basketball. With the universe seemingly turning its back on me, this was also the time when Basketball TV (BTV) got included in our list of cable channels. Obviously, I got hooked. Most nights, I even stayed up late just to see live coverage of NBA games.

Close enough

In retrospect, perhaps those were the 'good' times. In the present context, they are not. I know that having an entitlement to a  frolicsome childhood is essential to one's life, but it is also important to practice moderation and to keep the fire of curiosity burning. What I'd like to call my 'past life' did none of this. Even if it did, as I joined some writing and speaking contests during this time, learning was kept to a minimal, dispassionate amount.

The mismanagement of my life in the past has taken its toll in the more demanding present. In some cases, I feel inadequate in a sense that my peers seem to know more than I do, especially in the fields that our course requires us to undertake like history, world affairs, global economy, structures of government, and so on. Of course, it is impossible to know everything, but the fact of the matter is, I could have at least tried in my early years. During those carefree days of my life, I looked for things that were more convenient and therefore less tedious than books. Al Gore's inconvenient truth may have been directed to global warming, but the lazy truth about myself has constantly been about coldness, apathy, and disregard.

Now as a college student, I realize the importance of acquiring knowledge not just for personal fulfillment, but also for democratic participation and societal contribution.I have to admit that reading assigned books and articles in class from thinkers like Arendt, Plato, Marx, and Foucault and from world affairs analysts like Morgenthau, Moravcsik, and Cox has helped in instigating a new fire in my soul, if you will. But the bottom-line is, I'm alive again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying pop culture is an inferior form of knowledge. I'm just showing how appreciative I am of the diverse forms of knowledge available especially in educational institutions that I have been ignoring the whole time because of sheer laziness.

Yep

Currently, I read ten times the amount of the materials I read when I was in high school. Seems like a pretty good start for me.